Hi, I’m Pauline, and I’m a full-time carer for my adult son Tristan.

Tristan was 14 when he first got sick. He has very high care needs, so I gave up my full-time job to care for him. Whilst this allowed me to ensure he was getting the best support we could give him, things haven’t always been easy. But I soon realised there was nothing that I would rather do, than care for him. 

In the first few years we often felt that, as a family, we were just surviving rather than living, especially during the years of exploring options.   

“Foothold have been a godsend to Tristan and our family. The grey clouds are still around us, but Foothold have been a constant ray of sunshine in the darkness, reaching out to us and giving us some hope. I hate to think about where we’d be without them.”  

Tristan’s Loss of Independence 

Tristan suffers from Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, hypertension, POTS (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome), cardiac dysautonomia, ME (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis), hypermobility, gastrointestinal disorder with nausea & vomiting, ongoing daily pain, a dysfunctional bladder, Hyperhidrosis, Respiratory issues & several other issues.  

As you can probably imagine, living with these various illnesses has put a huge strain on his mental health too. Being told by doctors & specialists that there is no cure is a hard reality to face. He requires a constant monitor for his blood pressure, as this can often fluctuate wildly. Sometimes, even just getting out of a chair causes him to feel faint and pass out without warning. He also missed a lot of school, but we were supported, did work at home with him and he managed to pass his exams. 

Now, 15 years after Tristan first falling ill, we have adjusted our lives well.  Keeping him safe & free from illnesses and viruses has become our top priority, especially since Covid. He seldom complains, even when in great pain or discomfort.  

Struggling to Cope and Losing Hope 

After a few years of me no longer working, our savings ran dry. It got to the point where we simply couldn’t afford all his care needs. We even had to choose between getting him a new blood pressure monitor when his first one broke, or keeping up with his prescribed daily vitamin & electrolyte waters. To have to make that kind of choice as a parent is heart-breaking.  

Then we heard something that no parent ever wants to hear. Medical professionals told us life expectancy was around 30. He was already in his early 20’s and we were devastated. He’s now 29 and some statistics say it’s between 30s and late 40s now. Words can’t describe the pain we went through when we were given that devastating diagnosis. We have chosen to live one day at a time & Tristan always says that he is grateful for each day. Life needs to be accepted as a gift and he tries very hard to show kindness to each person he meets.  

How Foothold have supported us 

“There has been a ray of hope throughout all this. I’ve never been one to ask for help, even when things are really tough. But I knew we couldn’t keep on providing all of Tristan’s care needs on our own.” 

Foothold offered to first fund a new blood pressure monitor, so Tristan wasn’t going without this vital equipment. Even this single act of kindness meant we no longer had to choose which support we could afford to give him.  

But their help didn’t stop there. They’ve also supported us with a monthly grant, so we can continue giving Tristan the care he needs. This regular payment to Tristan makes the world of difference to not only his life, but to mine as well.  

Foothold have been a godsend to us and helped give Tristan a bit of freedom back in his life. It feels like we are actually living – not just surviving day by day. 

Foothold are here for you and your family too 

If you ever find yourself in a similar situation, where you can’t afford the things you or your family desperately need, don’t wait – contact Foothold as soon as you can. 

“They can give you stability and support, and not just in the moment. No matter the support you get, it makes a huge difference. They have changed Tristan’s life as well as my own – they may be able to do the same for you.”